Never bet on black.



This DeathCar isn't completely dead yet. There are still some important installments to follow, such as this one.

There is a very important kind of person who needs to die. That person is someone who directs or stars in a movie that contains a key scene involving a shootout or hostage-taking in a fairground / fun park / theme park.

Fairgrounds seem like nice places. You can try to shoot the water into the clown's mouth so that the balloon on his head kersplodes. That is an important life lesson for all of us. You can also study the effects of inbreeding and inhalant abuse by observing the carny folk. And you can eat overpriced food and then vomit like a fire hydrant after riding The Ralpher or The Gravity Bomb or some other ride. It's the amercun way.

Hollywood looked at the fairground and said, hold on a moment. What IF ... and follow me on this one for a second .... we actually made a fair seem kinda creepy? Like it looks like a fairground and all, but the music is ominous and then we can have the hero chase the bad guy in there and save the girl. Whaddaya say?

There are many movies that tried this. One of the most annoying was Passenger 57. near the end of this movie, the plane full of terrorists --- remember when movie terrorists were european? I do --- lands at an airport that is inexplicably next to a fairground. All the passengers including Wesley Snipes leave the plane in an orderly manner. Then Evil German Longhaired Guy runs into the fair and takes a hostage and the music is ominous and there's a clown that looks sad BUT HE IS SAD BECAUSE OF THE HOSTAGES and I have to clean a whole hungry-man dinner off my TV screen from all the puking.



I am too lazy to find out who directed it, but he's in the DeathCar and so is Snipes.

-Tach

1 comment:

  1. Billy Zane20:32

    I hear you walking all around my town.

    ReplyDelete

What do you want?

Blog Archive