Maddening



The following is the first "Guest Host" we have ever had at DeathCar. I had high hopes going in to this, and he has exceeded them. I hope Tach can find time to do this more often as he clearly has "the gift". So here you go, it turns out I'm not the only crazy man on the internet....


Hi Death Car. Long time listener, first time caller.

Benji Madden, Joel Madden, sure, these are all disfigurements on the handsome, metrosexual face of humanity and must be excised. But what about their father, their namesake, their progenitor? I speak, of course, of John Madden.

John Madden's career is in the sporting industry as an 'on-air talker person' (as we say in the biz). He shouts things into a mic-hole, such as "They've gotten a lot of really tough calls today Tom" or "Some of the calls they have recieved could be described, I believe, as tough ones" or "Homerun!"

But it's not the shouting that makes me angry. Oh no. It's the string of identical sports games that has made EA rich and turned him into a kind of boring character actor. He's like an elderly, non-gay Andy Dick. And he's huge. He looks like he sliced up, barbequed and ate William "Refridgerator" Perry, although he generally prefers Turducken.

And did you know he travels around in a custom made bus called the Maddencruiser? He's already in a Death Car! Right there! It's so simple!

In short: Andy Dick is Awesome.


Edito's Note: Tachikoma has a degree in Journalism, so fuck you.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous10:02

    I love it. Well done!

    ReplyDelete

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