Three reasons why Mike Huckabee is in the DeathCar...
1) He doesn't believe in evolution. Sorry, I know that this FACT kind of fucks up the whole Jesus thing for you, but it fucking happened. You can't just say that you don't belive a FACT. You can not believe in astrology or ghosts, but not evolution. That is RE-TAR-DED.
Fun Fact: Mike also believes in ghosts.
2) He is a fucking Ordained Minister. Because that's what America needs, a head of the Church becoming the head of the State. It's right in the constitution, DON"T MIX THE CHURCH AND THE STATE.
Fun Fact: Mike is a Mormon (yup, that's the weirdo one).
3) He told a story about how when he was in college he and his roommate used to hunt squirrels and COOK THEM IN A POPCORN POPPER AND FUCKING EAT THEM. What fucking planet am I on where an inbred backwoods hick that eats squirrels is a legitimate candidate for PRESIDENT OF THE FUCKING UBITED STATES???? I mean come on...
Fun Fact: Huckabee is a stupid fucking name.
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