Michael Stipe is super gay.
I checked with my lawyers and they told me that the above statement cannot be considered slanderous and/or homophobic as the man is actually super, and a homosexual. Finally the law is working for me, and not against me.
Where was I?...
So have you ever noticed that Mikey Stipe is simply a more unsuccessful version of Bono? Oh you have? Ok, then just humour me. So Mikey Stipe is a less successful version of Bono. You see, U2 and REM are two "underground" bands that kind of ruled the 80's with their anti-everything, pro-lame stances. The difference being of course, that Bono has at least gone on to attempt change with meetings (all be it useless)with heads of state, and Mikey has held private meetings with Courtney Love. Both may have resulted the same, but at least Bono didn't get Clamidia in the process. Also, Bono has had what we call in the business "album sales".
Now the thing is with that is, REM had a couple of minor hits in the late eighties and early nineties, and Mikey has been living off of that fame ever since. He is like the music world's equivalent of Bob Saget. Bob had a few hit shows in the same era, and now is clinging to sweet fame like it was his last breath. The difference here is that Bob Saget is a talented comedian, and Mikey Stipe is a ball sack.
I say it's time we time we let Michael Stipe know he is unwanted by all getting together and stop buying his albums, stop supporting his live performances, and generally forgetting that his REM ever existed. Wait, what? We already have been doing this for over a decade? Then why am I wasting everyones time writing this? What? Nobody reads this blog? Damn, now that stings.
Editor's Note: He also has his own "The Edge" with that Jimmy Buck guy.
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