Who the fuck is Amy Winehouse?

It seems like a simple question, but I have had a team of scientists on it for over a week now, and all they can tell me is that "bitch needs help". Seriously, is she an actress? Is she a princess? All I know is that England is full of tabloid sensations that may or may not exist in real life , and that's fine with me. But when that shit starts to seep over the ocean and onto my television it's getting personal. Was there a shortage on skinny, talentless, drug addicts over here that I was unaware of? Did we really need to start importing more to fill some void? Hello? Somebody fucking answer me!!!

Editor's Note: It's kind of hard to tell, but there is a wonderful strand of drool hanging from her mouth. Why can't I find a girl like this?

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