P.E.T.A. : People Eating Tasty Animals

DeathCar contributor, Tachikoma writes...

Instead of a list of people that should die, i want a list of animals that should be in an all-animal DeathCar.

So I wrote him back and said...

then send it in, idiot.

So he did, and this is it...

OK, Death Car Animal Edition:

1. Driver: Steve Irwin Sting Ray (not for killing Steve, but for not doing it sooner)

2. Shotgun: Whales: For making the Japanese and First Nations groups look bad, and for being so delicious and difficult to catch at the same time.

3. Left seat rear: Alligators, for not trying as hard as crocodiles.

4. Right seat rear: Candiru, for swimming into your wang if you swim in the amazon (seriously)

5. In the middle, rear, without seatbelt: Wombat, simply for choosing to carpool with the wrong group of animals

6. Trunk: Two gay penguins.

I have to say that these all seem like legitimate DeathCar candidates. I particularly like the addition of "no seatbelt" with the wombat, and the sexual orientation of the penguins. Have you ever noticed that the word "orientation" and the word "oriental" are very similar? Is that racist? Am I racist? Are you? The answer is yes. You are a racist, and you should be ashamed of yourself.