Adam Writes...

My death car:

Driver: Dick Cheney
Shotgun: Ann Coultier
Back seat: Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly and Dubya
The trunk: The Fox staff responsible for canceling Arrested Development. Yeah, I'm still mad about that.

Politically speaking, I like this DeathCar. It has all the integrity of a flag without all those pesky stars and stripes. A real down-home vibe with that great southern aftertaste. A blindfolded shot in the dark without the chaos of international circumstance. What the fuck am I talking about? I have no idea. What I do know is that if I ever find the bastard that canceled Arrested Development, I will rip out his fucking eyes with a rusty shovel and replace them with pineapples. I will freeze a highly venomous cobra (solid like a sword,)and stab him in his penis. I will shove his legs into a wood chipper, and shower in his blood. And as he tries to slowly rehabilitate himself for the years to come, and try to win back the respect of his family, I will reappear, cut his tongue off, feed it to the children of the cobra I froze to death (the same one I made a sweet sword out of few sentences ago), and sleep with his wife and children. A little drastic you say? Well so is making entire blog about replacing good people with bad people in mythical car accidents, but I managed to do that, so this doesn't seem that far off, does it?

What about you guys, you fans of the show?

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous23:10

    Can we get michelle malkin in ad's deathcar too? Trunk maybe? or tied to a bumper?


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