Melanie Griffith's face looks like someone injected a bag of cottage cheese with fiberglass. This brings up an interesting question. Is being eye damagingly ugly enough to warrant death by car accident? The answer is yes.

Am I the only one that remembers when Melanie Griffith was the cute voiced Working Girl, and not a human lion? What the fuck happened? She looks like someone replaced her face cream with a forest fire. How does that even happen? Shouldn't Antonio at some point have sat her down and told her to stop wearing a wasp's nest as a balaclava? Clearly she has either been bathing in liquid apocalypse or she lost a bet with the Devil and the punishment was she would start to rapidly aging like Geena Davis did in Beetlejuice. You remember, when Otho reads from the Handbook of the Recently Deceased and she appears in front of them on the table in her wedding dress? That was a great movie. Why doesn't Tim Burton make those types of movies anymore? That new musical one he is making seems a little weak, don't you think? Anyways, where was I...oh ya. Melanie Griffith is a troll.

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