If erection lasts for more than 4 hours, contact your Doctor.

Top 10 Things that someone should probably let the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue people know...

1. Nobody gives a shit if Marisa Miller is in a bikini on the cover of your magazine because she is also on the cover of Perfect 10, except completely nude.

2. Tyra Banks looks like an inside-out raccoon.

3. The internet exists.

4. Body Paint bikinis were pretty hot shit about a decade and a half ago. Now they are about as Risqué as a Full House marathon.

5. Venus and Serena should never be photographed for any reason. Ever.

6. As much as you want to be an American institution, you are a less sexy version of the Sears catalogue.

7. When you turn to 3-D Glasses to try and sell your magazine, you have officially overstayed your welcome.

8. Carol Alt is a lizard.

9. Exotic locations sell half naked girls like cones sell ice cream.

10. Janet Gretzky.......really?


  1. Leonard Maltin17:26

    this post sucked....it seemed very...well...empty.

  2. Anonymous23:36

    Leonard would never say that.


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