Bitch is a cow.

So as I sat down to write up a DeathCar post today, I decided to go with the old trusty "Americans are ignorant turds" approach. A proven classic. So when I typed in the YouTube search word of "Montage" in hopes of getting some video of star spangled banners and eagles set to a John Cougar Meloncamp song, I stumbled across this little gem.



Sooooooo....ya.

I'm not some hyper conservative, right wing, boobs are gifts from the devil extremist by any means, but breast feeding your kids when they are 8 is a whole new level of fucked up. I mean were you afraid they were going to grow up to be well adjusted adults that didn't need to visit a professional twice a day just to be able to hug their dog or not cry during sex? Why stop at making them suck on your tits? How about making them wash your pubic hair, or give you enemas? I know, why don't you just name them "Toilet"? or "Molesto"? Or how about just plain old "Target"? Because that's what you've done for them.

Also, it's one thing to be fucked up in the privacy of your own home, but inviting a camera crew to document it? Why not just invite their friends over to watch? You could hand out pamphlet on the best way to give someone a wedgy, or Easy ways to emotional cripple children.

Basically, fuck you. You are the reason people snap and go on shooting sprees when they finally leave the nest to go to college or work for Post Office. And the reporters always ask the neighbours after, "did you see any sign of the accused snapping like this?" and the answer is always the same, "no, he was kinda quiet, really liked milk though."

Editor's Note: I almost used "Got Milk?" as the main title, but then i would have had to either go and write for Leno, or shoot myself, and I was all out of bullets.

Editor's Note 2: Who doesn't have nicknames for their Mom's boobs?

3 comments:

  1. Dennis Hopper17:15

    I want a piece of that pie.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mr. Wigglesworth18:21

    I was eating dinner...weird mommy ruined it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dinner is never ruined when you keep the left-overs in your jugs.

    Eat up!

    ReplyDelete

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