H.M.B.D.T.D.W.E.F.2.F.R. Day 7 (The left over shit).

"....and the rest, here on DeathCar isl."

That was supposed to be sung to the tune of Gilligan's Island. I'm not sure if it will translate, but I'm retarded tired and my eyes are bleeding, so it will have to do.

Anyways, today is the 7th and final day of The Hair Metal Band Death Tour Bus Week Extravaganza Fest 2008 For Realz, and I thought I would just chuck the rest of the your nominations into the trunk. Sound good? Too bad.

You guys did tremendously by the way.


And the Nominees are...

FIREHOUSE
Winger
Styx
Poison
Nelson
Extreme
Poison
Whitesnake
Skid Row
twisted sister
Europe

And the winner is....Everyone on the fucking planet.

Good riddance to shite rubbish, and the dream continues....

Editor's Note: The following bands were made exempt by special requests...

Iron Maiden
Motley Crue
Man-o-War
Van Halen

Editor's Note 2: Stay tuned for The Hip-Hop Hippity Hop Death Stretch Humvee Limo Week Extravaganza Fest 2008, Aight in the coming months.

Editor's Note 3: 10 DeathCar Points to anyone that gets the pun that goes with pic at the top of this post.

H.M.B.D.T.D.W.E.F.2.F.R. Day 5 (Cinderella)

Twinnifer has decided to throw his keys in the bowl regarding the old Hair Metal Band Death Tour Bus Week Extravaganza Fest 2008 For Realz, and it goes something like this...

"I'll throw in Cinderella".

Now before I get into it I have to tell you that Cinderella may be the most unremarkable band of all time. I personally couldn't remember any album or hit they had, so I consulted my good friend Internet and he confirmed that they were completely useless. I mean as a far as I can tell, they didn't even headline one show. It seems they just opened for bigger and better bands their whole career. Seriously, the most interesting thing I could find about them is that one of it's members left to create a new band with a dude from Ratt.

So I guess we could throw them in the Death Tour Bus, but that would almost upgrade them to "Existing". I say we give them similar treatment that The Scorpions got, and we give them food poisoning. After they die we can put their bodies in the storage compartments before the bus takes off. Ya, that sounds about right.

Editor's Note: They are planning a new tour in 2008. Seriously?

H.M.B.D.T.B.W.E.F.2.F.R. Day 4 (Scorpions)

Jco writes...

"how about the Scorpions?"

Good call my anti-German friend. If you want The Scorpions to die a horribly painful death a la rolling wreckage, than thats what your gonna get.

So, let's begin. So the thing with the Scorpions and being in the Hair Metal Band Death Tour Bus Week Extravaganza Fest 2008, For realz, is that they are actually pretty cool. The problem is that they are also Euro-trash piles of human feces. So that kind of brings us to a cross roads.

On the one hand, you have to respect a Metal band that started in 1965, and had members with names such as Rudolf, Wolfgang, Lothar, Klaus, and Barry. But on the other hand, how can you forgive any self respecting metal band that gave us "Send me an angel"?

I think I may have found a compromise. What if they die on the Death Tour Bus, not in an accident, but of food poisoning? Does that work for everyone? Good.

So it was written, so it was done.

Editor;s Note: Yup, you guessed it. Still a fucking band. What the fuck is going on???

H.M.B.D.T.B.W.E.F.2.F.R. Day 3 (W.A.S.P.)

Krimet writes,....

"W.A.S.P"

That is an excellent selection for the Hair Metal Band Death Tour Bus Week Extravaganza Fest 2008, For realz Day 3. So let's begin.

So I guess first off we should break down what W.A.S.P. was all about by breaking down what the acronym stands for. A quick google search referred me to a early interview in which the band gave up the info I was looking for. And I tell you, this is what happens when you get a group of 9 year old boys to name your band. Ready?..

W.A.S.P. = We Are Sexual Perverts

There you go. We are sexual perverts indeed. Simply amazing. Why didn't they just go with something like "I like boobs", or "boner owners". Also, my research shows that these renegades of shit spent a large portion of their careers fighting Tipper Gore and the PMRC about their controversial lyrics such as ...

Lick it hard, lap it up, do it now baby, touch it, touch it
Lick your lips and flash your paws
Shuck me suck me eat me raw

Actually, I commend W.A.S.P for their anti censorship stance against Tipper & Friends, as they will be seeing a seat in the old DeathCar fairly soon as well. How ironic that they could spend the rest of eternity together in a old bus. That old bus of course being the Hair Metal Band Death Tour Bus. Did I not mention that the post accident eternity includes never getting off the bus? Oh, well that's a part of it. What? How long have I been awake? About 12 minutes. Why? Can you tell? You can? Huh....maybe I should go back to sleep? Ok, I will. Thanks for all of the great advice, your friend, -D.W.B.


Editor's Note: W.A.S.P. is still touring. Why? WHY?

H.M.B.D.T.B.W.E.F.2.F.R. Day 2 (Warrant)

So now we reach day 2 in the Hair Metal Band Death Tour Bus Week Extravaganza Fest 2008, For realz debate, and our old friend Thunder Tits has piped in with...

Who are the turds that sang 'Cherry Pie'? they should be there

The band you are thinking of is none other than L.A.'s own Warrant.

You may or may not remember Warrant as the boys that gave us that thinly veiled one hit wonder about taking the virginity from underage girls, hence the pun "Cherry Pie". Whats my favorite line from the song? I'm glad you asked...

"Swingin' in there 'cause
She wanted me to feed her
So I mixed up the batter
And she licked the beater"

Ah Warrant you insinuating bastards, how you never cracked the Billboard Top 10, I'll never know. Actually I do...you have all the talent of Brooke Hogan, and the stage presence of a gay owl. Welcome to the bus.

Editor's Note: Warrant is also still a band today. What is with these bands and there refusal to give up?

Editor's Note 2: Why did the owl have to be gay?

Editor's Note 3: Why did the owl have to be an owl?

H.M.B.D.T.B.W.E.F.2.F.R. Day 1 (Stryper)

So it turns out that Hair Metal Band Death Tour Bus Week Extravaganza Fest 2008, For realz starts today, and we have had some good responce with ideas on who you would like to see die.

For instance, T-Rex writes...

STRYPER: Christian hair metal? um.. WTF?!

Good on you, Mr.T-Rex. This is exactly what I think Tachikoma had in mind when he suggested we put Rock Gods in the DeathCar. You see, Stryper had the balls to go where nobody needed to go, or was wanted. That is they brought Jesus to an Arena Rock Show. Isn't that kind of like bringing your Mom to a....well, Arena Rock Show? All she does is complain that it's too loud and smells like illegal.

I guess some of you may be thinking that beliving in God and enjoying Rock Music isn't exactly DeathCar worthy, but remember this: Stryper is still a fucking band today. Yes, you read that correctly. Those piles of filth are still playing state fairs and rolling in thousands of dollars annually.

So basically, fuck them. Fuck them and their Jesus, and their hair, and their past glorys, and their current shite, And their future selves. Look at it this way, at least they are going to heaven after the crash.

Editor's Note: Where are all the Muslim Rock Bands? That would be tight.

Hair Metal Band Death Tour Bus Week Extravaganza Fest 2008, For realz

Last week Tachikoma sent in a good idea for a theme DeathCar...

"We really need a Hair Metal Band Death Tour Bus. Def Leppard comes to mind, as does Glass Tiger. Pour some sugar on me? More like pour some acid on me."

So it was written, so it was done.

I figure we could add a new member everyday all until the car is full. Let's call it the Hair Metal Band Death Tour Bus Week Extravaganza Fest 2008, For realz


So get your votes in now, the madness starts tommorow. Now as for today, we should probably kill somebody off don't you think? How about Frankie Muniz? I'm not sure if he is even alive, but if he is, fuck him.