Ted From Accounting: Redux



Ted from accounting was beginning to become quite unhappy with his job. His mind would wander towards the grey skies outside the office windows that surrounded his cubicle infested workplace. Ted would drown out the sounds of the constant ringing of telephones, the clicking of fingers rapidly tapping computer keyboards and the nattering suit, ties and skirts around him. Inplace of all this, he would imagine the sound of the wind rushing past his ears. He yearned for the ability to fly free in the city skies that cried out to him. Ted yearned to be the flying squirrel to end all other flying squirrels.
His desk littered with pictures of flying squirrels in all sorts of stages of flight. He even had a few photos of Rocky The Flying Squirrel, from that damned cartoon that started this whole "sickness" from when he was a kid planted infront of his grandmother's television set.
His lunchtime conversation consisted of nothing, but nature programs about flying squirrels (which by the way, only three 1/2 hour programs about flying squirrels have ever been produced, so you could imagine how repetitive Ted's conversations would get). This would result in Ted finding himself eating alone at the subway station, across from his workplace, on a bird-shit infested bench. But Ted didn't care, Ted still spoke of flying squirrels to anybody that would listen, day or night. A homeless man calling himself Captain Morgan, would often listen, but almost always interrupted every minute or so, asking if he could have a nibble of Ted's salmon sandwich.
At home Ted would obsessively write a daily blog on his thoughts about flying squirrels for the day. Only a gay man in Wyoming would read it...his name was Ed. Ed was a little slow and just liked the pictures.
At night Ted would dream of becoming a flying squirrel and soaring high above the cement jungle below him, dropping his excrement wherever he pleased.
The saddest part about Ted, was that he in no way resembled a flying squirrel. Infact many people have told him, his voice sounds alot like Bullwinkle The Moose.

So close, Ted....so very, very close.

...

3 comments:

  1. You make me feel sorrpw.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i get that alot.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous13:45

    SORRPW!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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