Today I thought I would do something that would put us all in the holiday spirit, while at the same time building on the "General Public" idea that Cheese brought us last week. I am of course refering to Christmas Carolers.
Christmas Carolers have got to be in the Top 3 most uncomfortable situations you could ever find yourself in. I mean, you are sitting on your couch, watching that fireplace channel, minding your own business, when a group of strangers has approached your home with the intent on spreading the word of "our" savior with the beauty of song.
What. The. Fuck.
Honestly, what part of that sounds like a good idea? It's like saying, "I want to sing for people, but they don't want to hear it, so I will go to their homes where they have no escape!". Imagine if everyonme did this? What if that filthy 15 year old kid with the half stach, that mows your neighbours lawn, suddenly wanted to share his love of Metallica. Would it be kosher for him to go from house to house and sing it? Or what if your landlord started going from apartment to aprtment singing the theme song to NFL Monday Night Football? That wouldn't happen because it's fucking retarded. Something has to be done. So basically I have decided to start the first Holiday DeathCar. I will be adding new additions for the next 2 weeks, so if you have anything or anyone that you need dead, just add them to the list. And just so you know, the other 2 most uncomfortable situations you could ever find yourself in are...
1. Your Mom walking in on you masterbating.
2. Falcon catching you stealing eggs from it's nest.
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