Today, "Cheese Week" continues here at DeathCar with the Blogger to the Stars, Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr. or Perez Hilton for short.
"But D.W.B., aren't you essentially doing the same thing as Perez Hilton?" - Humans.
Well, if you consider blogging about what pieces of shit a vast majority of people are, and how I wish they were dead as exactly the same thing as what Perez Hilton does, then Yes, I am doing essentially the same thing.
"Then how can you put him in the DeathCar?" -Same Humans
Well, I didn't, Cheese did. And I'm not putting his actions in the DeathCar, I'm putting him into the DeathCar. You see, Perez is fat pompous cunt that goes to every D List celebrity red carpet event in order to fulfill his "secret" desire to be a Hollywood socialite. I mean, he even named himself after that...thing. He even makes it a habit to use his connections with the various Pride Rags he worked for, to "Out" people before they are ready. See Neil Patrick Harris, Lance Bass, Anderson Cooper, Jodie Foster, Queen Latifah...wait....actually,....that's pretty funny. Maybe I have mis-judged the boy. Maybe the DeathCar isn't for Armando. Maybe deep down he is a good person with a kind soul. Maybe the DeathCar is too harsh a sentence for him. If only there was a way I could release him from this fate. If only. (Cut to scene of car driving off cliff, much like the old stock footage from Toonces the Driving Cat).
BONUS VIDEO!:
Second String Death car:
ReplyDeleteDriver: Former co -host of American Idol Brian Dunkleman
Front Passenger: Jerry Lewis
Back left: Luke Perry
Back right: Bill S Preston Esquire (Alex Winter)
Trunk: The Great Apes (this includes Chimpanzees, Gorrillas, and orangutans. For not being humans.)
Please tell this no talent Mo to just shut his mouth and know his place: Just another gossip spreading useless fuck!!!!
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