Charlie Sheen is a toucher.

A few days ago, Cheese sent in a wonderful little DeathCar, and I promised to further analyse it for you. Well my filthy little inmates, that starts today. It starts with the trunk. It starts with Two and a Half Men.

I do not watch Two and a Half Men. I saw 4 minutes of an episode once and I spent the remaining 18 minutes in the shower, crying, trying to scrub the dirt off. I'm not even positive what the plot is supposed to be, but I did get that Charlie sheen and that gay guy from Pretty In Pink take turns molesting a fat kid, and that just seems a little wrong to me. Maybe if the half was replaced by Bindi Irwin, and the Men were were replaced by fire, it would be a better show. I know we have already ranted about Arrested Development this week, but how is it even remotely possible that 2 and a Half fucking Men is still on the air, and G.O.B. Bluth isn't? God fucking dammit, I got myself all worked up again. I want to put all of the entertainment industry in one giant Deathcar and blow it the fuck up. Wait...would that include me? This blog is supposed to entertain. Does that mean I'm a part of the Entertainment Industry? What? Your blog has to be entertaining to be considered a part of the Entertainment Industry? Who said that?!?! I'll kill you! I work day and night on this stupid thing for little to no money! I'm a god damn Prince! I'm a shepherd to a world of sheep! I'm a Molly Ringwald, and you are all my Duckies! HA HA HA AHA HA AHhaahahah...

So to summarize, this blog is not entertaining, and Charlie Sheen is a pedophile.