Dirty Pock Marks.
So it looks like someone has taken my advice to heart (finally), and done my work for me. Spec7ral has not only written his own DeathCar rant, but he produced and directed it as well. Think of him as the Ivan Reitman of borderline Inappropriate blogs. But before I turn him loose like Loverboy, I have to say, his inclusion of Chris Pronger's Wife is not just untopical, but wonderous in it's own Endeavor. Enjoy.
Hey fuck face I have a Turd car for you, it is all female as I am a misogynist:
Driver: Tyra Banks. She's not pretty. She thinks she can judge models because she has big tits and a bigger forehead. And her show isn't even in HD on the HD channels. Of all programs, shouldn't a program about people with (supposedly) little to no physical defects be shown in HD? I want to see her fucking dirty pock marks.
Shotgun: Courtney love. Obvious pun.
Backseat: Barry Bonds. You deserve no records and no accolades. You deserve to get your hyper human blood all over Tyra's forehead at the moment of impact. And that's right, he was a woman before he took the juice.
Chris Pronger's Wife: You thought it was cold in Edmonton? Try sitting between these two cuntwraps.
Tila Tequila: Because I love your reality show. Because I deleted my myspace. Because you aren't bisexual. Because you are getting rich the Latin way.
Tila Tequila's lap: Dakota Fanning, DIE BITCH!
Trunk: Facebook. Vaginas, every single one of you.
Window clasp: Canucks flags on all four windows to symbolize the ultimate retardedness of the people inside.
P.S. This car would ride through the guts of Oprah as she would have been my Driver choice but is dead already and needs further romping.
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- Little People, Dead Midgets.
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Tila Tequila is a man.
ReplyDeleteTequila is best served bold.
ReplyDelete