
My death car:
Driver: Dick Cheney
Shotgun: Ann Coultier
Back seat: Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly and Dubya
The trunk: The Fox staff responsible for canceling Arrested Development. Yeah, I'm still mad about that.
Politically speaking, I like this DeathCar. It has all the integrity of a flag without all those pesky stars and stripes. A real down-home vibe with that great southern aftertaste. A blindfolded shot in the dark without the chaos of international circumstance. What the fuck am I talking about? I have no idea. What I do know is that if I ever find the bastard that canceled Arrested Development, I will rip out his fucking eyes with a rusty shovel and replace them with pineapples. I will freeze a highly venomous cobra (solid like a sword,)and stab him in his penis. I will shove his legs into a wood chipper, and shower in his blood. And as he tries to slowly rehabilitate himself for the years to come, and try to win back the respect of his family, I will reappear, cut his tongue off, feed it to the children of the cobra I froze to death (the same one I made a sweet sword out of few sentences ago), and sleep with his wife and children. A little drastic you say? Well so is making entire blog about replacing good people with bad people in mythical car accidents, but I managed to do that, so this doesn't seem that far off, does it?
What about you guys, you fans of the show?
Can we get michelle malkin in ad's deathcar too? Trunk maybe? or tied to a bumper?
ReplyDelete