Finally.

Driver of the Year 2007

Well, we are at year end here at DeathCar, and what a wonderful 2007 it has been. A new year brings more carnage and less understanding. This of course brings us to our 1st annual "Driver of the Year" award. This dubious honour goes to the person you the readers voted in as the most worthy person of dying in a car crash in the last calendar year. It was a very tight race, but we did indeed find a clear cut winner by the end. Some of you may have expected to see a certain socialite, or perhaps a douchebag comic, but even they could not knock this man of his pedestal. He is hated not only in his own country, but every other country in the world as well. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you your Driver of the Year...

George Walker Bush

So let's make 2008 just as a good as 2007 was. Let's see your early noms for D.O.T.Y. '08. Maybe Paris or Dane take over? Maybe it's a whole new person we didn't even know we hated yet? Only one thing is for sure, and that is that many, many more people will suffer the same fate hundreds have already fallen to. So time to yet again answer that magic question...

Who is in your DeathCar?

The Big Ten

So DeathCar is 1 month old today, and I thought it would be an appropriate time to do a quick recap. You have nominated almost 100 Men, Woman, animals, bands, ideas, and 2 children. Bravo. Here are the top 10 vote getters thus far...

George W. Bush
Paris Hilton
Tyra Banks
Dane Cook
Nancy Grace
Charlie Sheen
Britney Spears
Dick Cheney
Margaret Cho
Criss Angel

So sit back, pour yourselves a stiff drink and remember that there are still a lot of people out there that deserve to be placed in motor vehicles with shotty brakes. Get typing.

Editor's Note: Yes, I realize that the Hamburger Helper pic (above) is amazing.

Nicholas Sarantakos: MindFreak

To celebrate the 1 week anniversary of the blog the world can't stop talking about, I thought it be fitting the salute a man who maybe the biggest pile of douche on the planet. Of course I am talking about Criss Angel (Mindfreak).

I guess the question is, "Does Nicholas Sarantakos (his real name), deserve to be in a car accident? The answer is yes. But why does he deserve to be in a car accident? Is it because he wears handcuffs as a necklace? Is it because he wears make-up? Is it because he hangs out with fellow DeathCar mainstays like Britney Spears, Carrot Top, Paris Hilton, or That guy from the Brady Bunch (stay tuned)? No...Crissy deserves to be in a car accident because of the following...

I am the mindfreak (mindfeak!)
There's no reality
Just this world of illusion
That keeps on turning me
I am the mindfreak (mindfreak!) (x4)
Mindfreak (x4)
Are you ready?

But seriously, Are you ready?

Jaundice, Tubs, & Dead Eye...

So I was thinking, why do you have to fill your DeathCar up? If you have 3 candidates (Read: Cunts) just sitting in car, ready to go, why can't we just pour ourselves a nice drink, disconnect the brakes, sit back and enjoy the show? When you think about it, are there 3 more deserving people on the planet? I mean, if you total up all the car accidents they have already been in, it amounts to somewhere in the ballpark of 40 Quaytiggadons. Quaytiggadons are the official currency of a Space Planet that only I and a handful of my celebrity friends know about. That's how they count car accidents in the future. By totaling the damage created monetarily. Did I mention this took place in the future? ...Hello?....Where am I? ...KILL! KILL! KILL!