The Big Ten

So DeathCar is 1 month old today, and I thought it would be an appropriate time to do a quick recap. You have nominated almost 100 Men, Woman, animals, bands, ideas, and 2 children. Bravo. Here are the top 10 vote getters thus far...

George W. Bush
Paris Hilton
Tyra Banks
Dane Cook
Nancy Grace
Charlie Sheen
Britney Spears
Dick Cheney
Margaret Cho
Criss Angel

So sit back, pour yourselves a stiff drink and remember that there are still a lot of people out there that deserve to be placed in motor vehicles with shotty brakes. Get typing.

Editor's Note: Yes, I realize that the Hamburger Helper pic (above) is amazing.

Nicholas Sarantakos: MindFreak

To celebrate the 1 week anniversary of the blog the world can't stop talking about, I thought it be fitting the salute a man who maybe the biggest pile of douche on the planet. Of course I am talking about Criss Angel (Mindfreak).

I guess the question is, "Does Nicholas Sarantakos (his real name), deserve to be in a car accident? The answer is yes. But why does he deserve to be in a car accident? Is it because he wears handcuffs as a necklace? Is it because he wears make-up? Is it because he hangs out with fellow DeathCar mainstays like Britney Spears, Carrot Top, Paris Hilton, or That guy from the Brady Bunch (stay tuned)? No...Crissy deserves to be in a car accident because of the following...

I am the mindfreak (mindfeak!)
There's no reality
Just this world of illusion
That keeps on turning me
I am the mindfreak (mindfreak!) (x4)
Mindfreak (x4)
Are you ready?

But seriously, Are you ready?

Jaundice, Tubs, & Dead Eye...

So I was thinking, why do you have to fill your DeathCar up? If you have 3 candidates (Read: Cunts) just sitting in car, ready to go, why can't we just pour ourselves a nice drink, disconnect the brakes, sit back and enjoy the show? When you think about it, are there 3 more deserving people on the planet? I mean, if you total up all the car accidents they have already been in, it amounts to somewhere in the ballpark of 40 Quaytiggadons. Quaytiggadons are the official currency of a Space Planet that only I and a handful of my celebrity friends know about. That's how they count car accidents in the future. By totaling the damage created monetarily. Did I mention this took place in the future? ...Hello?....Where am I? ...KILL! KILL! KILL!