www.drawnonmoustache.blogspot.com
Spiderman Vs. Depression
So as you all may or may not know, I spent the last week in Hollywood, California accepting an award on behalf of myself for Achievement in the field of Excellence. It was an honour to accept such a deserving bestowal unto myself. I truly am a king amongst men.
Anyways, that's neither here nor there, the point of the story is that I saw something that made me want to cry and also made me feel so very warm inside all at the same time. My friends, I saw Spiderman cry.
Let me set the mood...
It was around 1pm, about half way between Hollywood Blvd, and Sunset Blvd, on whatever street the In n Out Burger is on. I was walking north, looking for a cab, when there it was. Spiderman. Crying. And smoking a cigarette.
How do you react to something like that? Do you try and console him? Do you walk away and pretend to not notice? Or do you laugh and point?
I did not point....but I did laugh. Did Spiderman notice me laughing at him? 70% Yes, 30% Maybe. Either way, I can now die happy.
Spiderman.
Wow.
Editor's Note: Typing in Spiderman into the google image search and coming up with that gem has officially made my day.
Tachikoma is at it again.
So the first big post after a week away. I decided to throw the honour into Tachikoma's court and he did not fail to fill some pretty big standards. And when I say he did not fail to fill some pretty big standards, I mean he failed to fill some pretty big standards.
Tach emailed me the following pictures....
and this...
He also added the text.."no scientist, but plenty of boobs."
Wow.
So I assume that Tach had been drinking, or at least sleep deprived because there is a couple problems with this post. One, even if you wanted to just post pictures of hot asian chicks with big boobs, there are way hotter chicks than that circling the internet, and second, I did some snooping on the model (Serena Kozakura), and it turns out she wins court cases based on her ample mounds (check it out, that shit is real).
So basically, there was a perfectly good DeathCar story just sitting there and all we get is a couple of photos the Tach may or may not have pleasured himself to.
This is your DeathCar. I hope you enjoyed it.
-DWB
Back in Black!
What a magical carpet ride through the heaven that is West Hollywood. Alas, the blog is back from hiatus and continuing on the frightful path of discovery that is something, something, something.
DeathCar 4 Life.
...Starting tomorrow.
-DWB
DeathCar goes Hollywood
Dear DeathCar reader,
So this is just a quick note to let you know that the DeathCar will be dormant for the next week as there will be no writers to write it. DWB is going to Los Angeles to accept an award for being amazing, and Tachikoma lives in China, and the Chinese hate this blog more than life itself (and the Chinese hate life a lot).
So basically, unless the Chateau Marmont magically gets internet access in the next 7 days, this is it for now. Please use this time to think about what you as a reader could do to make this blog better for me the writer. It really is the least you could, you ungrateful little shits.
Love,
-Orco
Nuts to you.
Ok,
So the Moustache blog is fucked up again. How do I fix it? I don't know. How do I make it up to you? I don't.
Fuck it.
Here is a picture....
But what is that? Well, it's nuts...for your truck.
What else?
Figure it out.
Good news for people that like bad news.
Think Fats...
Actually what I meant to write up there was "Think Fast", but Think Fats works even better. You see my filthy little friends, I walked into my home today and picked up the mail only to find a special announcement from my local McDonald's Restaurant. What was the announcement? Well, it was something that had haunted my dreams for the better part of a decade, and I thought it was behind me. It is my pleasure and sorrow to announce, the return of the McRib.
But why is the McRib such a big deal? Well if i have to explain it to you, you are either new to this country, or capable of controlling what you put into your body. You see, the McRib is not only the tastiest morsel that this Fast Food Nation has ever seen, but it is made from 100% Pure Alberta Miscellaneous Parts. That's correct. It makes the Mcnuggets look Organic. It has the consistency of rubber, and smells like feet, but the taste is what dreams are made of.
Ok, I know what you are thinking. You think that this is all well and good, but how does this affect me? I would rather eat out of the garbage than McDonald's. Well my friend, did I mention the Meat Bone? Yup, The Meat Bone. It's a bone, made of meat. What are you suppose to do with that? How about EAT THE MOTHERFUCKER!
So in summary, Meat Bone, Meat Bone, Meat Bone. I'll be at McDonald's or the hospital or the gutter. Either way, it's been fun.
-DWB
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