I want to punch this guy in the throat.
Things get really interesting around the 1 minute mark. Watch with caution, it may infuriate.
Wiggle it like a mad man.
Old DeathCar friend Tron has given us a gift in the form of Embeded clip. It appears that the masterminds of 80's videogame marketing are back and have their claws on Guitar Hero. This clip is mind blowing in aleast 432 ways. The rocker dude makes me want to either kill police officers, or have intercourse with an Italian car. Either way, I win.
Cry me a river.
The Sharon Stone clip alone is enough to make you want to choke out a small child. The rest is what we call "the icing on the cake".
Editor's Note: Is it wrong to make fun of someone for crying about friends dying of Aids?
Editor's Note 2: Is it wrong to make fun of someone for crying about their dead parents?
Editor's Note 3: New low achieved.
Is that a giant fucking bed, or a really tiny person?
I totally forgot about the Montgomery Flea Market commercial until today. It's like a beautiful storm that passed me in the night. I swear to God, if Nike or McDonalds had half the awesomeness in their adverts they would be multi national billion dollar corporations. Oh wait...
Also, just a little side note, Is being a mini mall some sort of marketing gold nugget that i was not aware of?
More filthy bacon all up in your grill.
Bacon gear is the new trendy, ugly, overpriced, rainbow coloured sneaker. Let's hope the scensters don't fuck this one up for us as well.
Editor's Note: Cleaning your shoes is the equivalent to sucking a dick.
Editor's Note 2: Being a scenster is the equivalent to eating a dick.
I can't tell if I pissed myself or not.
Peter Scurr writes...
"I think it's time you toss those Groundhog's Day terra-dogs in a Death Car....Scott H, Adam B, Glen M, Matt M, Troy A, David B and the rest of them...past and present. Why? They celebrated Groundhog's Day. Who does that? Seriously. They have problems I can't even begin to get into. Plus...they're all from T-Town."
Done and done.
I won't forgive you.
Thelma sent me this clip. It appears to be a hero to the soy industry. I am asking you as a fellow interneter to enjoy this, as I have it on good authority that if you do not, you will become gay. An nobody wants that.
Gordon Shumway kills me.
There is something really unsettling about these bloopers. Like when you order fish in a restaurant and the head is still on it.
Let's get stabby with it.
It's about god damn time somebody put out a video teaching us how to properly attack someone with a knife. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a perfectly good stabbing go bad because the attacker just didn't know how to effectively cause the most death. Now if they could just make a video on how to successfully pull of some date rape, we would be set. I also like how he refers to the "Amateur" stabber, as opposed to the stabbers that have risen to the proffesional ranks.
Editor's Note: That guy is a virgin.
Editor's Note 2: Which one?
Editor's Note 3: Either way.
You're analog.
I used to think that japan was a weird place. Than I thought they were just fucking with us. Now I think they may just be fucking stupid.
That's right, ALL JAPANESE AND ASIAN PEOPLE ARE STUPID.
Is that racist? Yes.
Is that true?
The world will never know.
Except, yes.
also,...
White people are smart.
...
...
...
Hello?
Monsieur Belvedere ain't noth'n to fuck with.
Official Certificate + ID Card + Postcards + Iron-on + Book cover + Newsletter + Special Birthday surprise = Why the rest of the world hates America.
You fucking ningcum fucking poop.
Where have you seen my friend here before?
A) Cable Access, USA
B) Some other dumb blog
C) Your wildest dreams
The answer is, D) Who fucking cares. This guy is so fucking rad he makes me want date rape a cow.
POOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
"I no longer know if I am funny.
Attached is a death car submission. It is the offical chart used by doctors to determine what kind of shit you are having. If this is indeed funny, please post it on death car. Thanks. -Tach"
Sniff Swig Puff
Bea & The Rock is a TV show from the early 70's that only exists in my wildest dreams and this blog. They would get drunk and get into vast arguments about everything from foreign policy to the lack of a decent parking spot in this fucking town. And they would end every show with a filthy song of sorts that would have middle America on their knees begging for more. The ratings were shit, but they weren't going to change for anyone, especially that smug network exec that was shitting his diapers when they broke into this biz. What ever happened to great made up TV shows? It's all Two has-beens and a child or Fat dude and hot Wife now. Give Ric Ocasek a show about a cop in a hot air balloon and the people will line up to see it. Guarenfuckingteed.
Hobosexual.
You see, hobos are great because they have the courage to fight the enemys we all face everyday, but are to immersed in "society" to see. This guy is basically Spiderman except he drinks his own piss and has no need for teeth.
Editor's Note: The sneaky headbutts are amazing.
Editor's Note 2: I can practically smell him from here.
So are you going to press any charges?
After taking the weekend off, DeathCar is back Tachikoma style, (which essentially means black people on YouTube doing stuff that makes white people feel uncomfortable).
Here we go...
My shit, matta fact you assassinating.
Cuz im finna to send him to come do it.
Anybody wanna see young jeezy kill Goerge Bush shawty?
Yuuuoooooooh, crank dat soulja girl.
Soulja girl allp in it, 'hoe'
Watcha crank an watchmeh roll
Waymi crank dat soulja girl an superman that hoe, now watch me yuuuooooh...
yahhh nigga yahhhh....get out ma face!
yahhh yahh yahhhhhh.....get out ma face!...
Eyo soulja girl can i get uh minute...ay!
Ummm ummm manhannahinnut ey!..
Ey soulja girl ey! yahhhh nigga yahhhhhhhh!
Yahhh yahh yahhhHhhh! get out ma face! get out ma face! i want my shit!..i want my shit!...i want my shit!...i want my shit!....shawty.
Beat dat ah, beat dat ah...ima beatcha ass on thi traiiin...we on da marta im finna do ma thang...
You thought I couldn't freestyle on you boo?
You owe everybody an apology fo yo shit hoe...
You got five minutes to do it or its over bitch.
Or ima ram through the white house and kick off in ma shit...
An you own wonna take it theuh...
I got a bunch of grown niggas in ma rent-uh-centu take it theuh..
It's ovur this mean war!..I'm ain squashing this shit shawty..We finna go to war..
Straight in the U.S...Ey jeezy baby i got this bitch right here lets take the test...
Somebody give me a phone shawty...i aint gon need no phone...........
Shawty.......Ima kill lil shawty...
guy: Shawty chill man its a old lady man chill man...
crazy: old lady???
guy: Yeah man...
crazy: you know what this old lady called me!?
guy: man chill with that crazy shit man...
crazy: chill!??!?! ima chill shawty...
guy: foreal tho...
crazy: ima go on and chill...
thank you that's the best advice that i could take shawty...just chill!...
till i get to Eli Train Station, and how dare you jump up in my face, N-E-way.
And say a GOD DAMN! thing to me about cussin out no old lady.
you the same nigga i been lookin for that raped me.
you the same nigga i been lookin for that raped me shawty.........
same nigga from glenwood. the same nigga. the same nigga from glenwood.
fuck glenwood????? eight teeth! hold up!!!!!!!!!!! wait a minute!!!!!!!!!!
hold!! you got not right bitch!!!!!!!!!! hold up!!!!!!
hold the fuck up hoe!!!!!! you got no right bitch!!!
boom* *kachow* *splat* *pow* *bam!*
Ay dude turn hands with that shit. hold hands with thi shit. where ma A hat?
somebody get ma hat so i can go, somebody get ma hat so i can go, somebody get ma hat so i can go.
did anybody see muh hat.
if if they hit me! im pressin charges. im pressin charges. im pressin charges. im pressin charges.
whats they name? im pressin charges. im pressin charges. im pressin charges. im pressin charges.
im pressin charges. im pressin charges. im pressin charges.
where ma du-rag at????? *its on yuh head*
im pressin charges im pressin charges. its over.
Gauchos A.D.
I love this kids so much that I'm starting to feel empathy for pediphiles. How can you not want to just hold this kids in your arms like Mary did the baby Jesus. Did I just call Mary a pediphile? Maybe I did. Maybe I did.
PS - This is Sepultura. Yup...that Sepultura.
Vulgar display of Gauchos.
Dimebag would be proud (if he wasn't dead). Instead he feels nothing for Gauchos (because he's dead).
Gauchos
Who are Gauchos? They are just the greatest band on the face of the fucking planet today. They are also a group of kids that play balls out metal covers. Above you will enjoy the stylings of Iron Maiden. They also dabble in other artists such as Sepultura, Sabbath, Judas Priest, Metallica and Slipknot.
as a tribute to these princes amongst kings, this week will be Gauchos week at the DeathCar. Enjoy.
Editor's Note: Even their name...fucking GAUCHOS....amazing.
Editor's Note 2: Also check out the 3:55 mark where the kid bassist starts giving it up all filthy like a grizzled old vet. Immaculate.
BItch has more diseases than the monkey from Outbreak.
I wish I was Indian. They have all the food, history and culture that the new western world is so dearly lacking. They also make over 50 Million MOvies a year and all for the same price it cost us to make Air Bud: Golden Receiver. (That's the football one).
Editor's Note: Who would win in an athletic competition: The Air Bud dog, or the Monkey from MVP Most Valuable Primate?
Editor's Note 2: What if the MVP monkey was the monkey from Outbreak? WHAT IF???
Cunt Smasher
I don't know a lot about woman, but I do know two things. One, chicks dig leather clad dudes with mad ninja skills, and two, they love a man who isn't afraid to smash a few cunts. My friend here is getting the job done. Bravo, Cunt Smasher. Bravo.
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